Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Quick Guidance for the Syria Spinspeak-afflicted

Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

Make no mistake = Warning talk for whatever follows will be 100  proof spinspeak.

Let me be perfectly clear =Warning talk for whatever follows will be a mud wall.

Hold accountable = justice spin for all the bad guys can relax and make merry.

Unbelievably small = fogspin for  an alledgedly bold military action comparable to a one-armed security guard arresting a rabid Bengal tiger.

Spinning the Syrian Debate

Friday, September 6th, 2013

proportional = military rubberspeak for we will do whatever we have to do to look as if we know what we are doing.

limited = military calmspeak for not-to-worry.

redline = dipspeak for pseudobackbone doctrine.

reset =   spinspeak for “overcharge” in Russian.

no boots on the ground = Trojanhorsetalk for lite war (fully organic, 99.9 percent fat free).

How Spinspeak History Is Made

Wednesday, July 13th, 2005

When spinspeak is a total success, it has become accepted as absolute fact. For example, it is incorporated into crossword puzzles: Faux history is triumphant.

For more than 50-years enormous doses of spin have been injected into the espionage case of Alger Hiss, high State Department official, FDR advisor, favorite of elitist liberals, convicted perjurer and documented Soviet spy.

Now in a puzzle in “Random House Crostics Vol. 4” you are asked under item “T” to identify in two words and nine letters a “Truman bureaucrat falsely accused by Whittaker Chambers.”

This use of word puzzles to rewrite history opens up major possibilities for truly High Spin.

For example, the following sample questions could be “placed” in the famous New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle:

  • Important democratically-elected European leader later called by his enemies an anti-semitic tyrant. (Six letters)
  • Revolutionary War hero who chose to take early retirement in England. (14 letters)
  • American island mistakenly attacked by Japanese immigrants seeking political asylum. (4 letters)
  • If you answered Hitler, Arnold and Pearl Harbor, you get a Spinspeak Mushhead Award.

    Ask Howard: That’s Not Abortion! It’s a Health Care Decision

    Sunday, May 22nd, 2005

    Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean is trying to spin words like “abortion” and “choice” out of the Democratic Party vocabulary.

    Dean said flatly on NBC-TV’s “Meet the Press” without even winking that the Democratic Party is not in favor of women having abortions or even a proponent of something called “choice.”

    In fact, he said (and lightening did not strike) “I don’t know anybody who thinks abortion is a good thing.”

    Dean said he simply believes “a woman has a right to make up her own mind about what kind of health care she gets.” Presumably, one day a woman decides that a couple of aspirin will do the trick; the following week, she goes for something else. Who’s talking about abortion?.

    Get it: there is no abortion issue. It’s all about “health care.”

    “We’d like to make abortion rare,” Dean said and then went for the Golden Spin Award of the Month by asking:

    “Do you know that abortions have gone up 25 percent since George Bush was president?”

    >Kisses from Spotlight

    Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005

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    Not too many years ago the gutter phrase “wet kiss” might or might not have signaled a welcome event for its recipient.

    Not so any longer according to Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) who says that Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist’s judicial filibuster compromise is “a big wet kiss to the far right.” The implication is clearly that “the far right” (undefined) will be delighted to engage in what teenage boys in once private male locker rooms referred to as “spit swapping.”

    In the Dark Days of the mid-20th Century before MTV this phrase was absolutely regarded as gutter language and even today it is hard to find it in dictionaries. Sen. Reid, a self-described “small town boy” from Spotlight, Nevada (pop. 2000), possibly picked up the phrase while dining at one of Spotlight’s principal attractions, the Nugget Casino and Restaurant, a short run down Route 95 according to the Internet from the Wild Cat Ranch, one of Nevada’s numerous legal bordellos.

    >Benedict Gets the Quick Mainstream Media Spin

    Wednesday, April 20th, 2005

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    The returns are already in on Benedict XVI as far as the mainstream media is concerned.

    The politically correct spin is that Benedict XVI is “conservative,” “ultra-conservative,” “arch conservative,” “known to be quite conservative,” “an unswerving hardliner,” an “enforcer” dedicated “to keeping the Church in the Middle Ages,” and “God’s rottweiler.”

    Read “conservative” here as someone who doesn’t think the truth is whatever anyone fancies.

    However, in using the epithet “God’s rottweiler,” the mainstream anchors, who probably never read Francis Thompson’s famous poem “The Hound of Heaven,” may ironically be on to something.

    >Smearing by Pattern Lite

    Wednesday, April 13th, 2005

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    There is nothing like recognizing a pattern to make a decision.

    For example, when 1,000 chickens in various locations drop dead from lack of water you begin to suspect a pattern. But, if all you want to do is smear someone, one questionable anecdote and the promise that you might find a couple more may do.

    The new spinspeak definition of pattern is: He did something that looks questionable; in fact,he may have done it more than once and we hope to find some details soon.

    Latest usage: Allegations by Democratoic Senators that UN Amassador Nomimnee John Bolton has exhibited a pattern that might be construed as possibly improper management behavior in dealing with an intelligence officer at least once.

    >Spinning Death in Florida

    Thursday, March 31st, 2005

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    Right-to-Die Lawyer George Felos, who has explained that starvation and thirst are euphoric experiences, now wants you to know that departure from this world is merely something called the “death process.”

    As Felos explained on Fox News, Terri Chiavo “entered the final steps of her death process” in the hours preceding the time when her other processes stopped working because she was denied food and water for 13 days.

    Felos’ contribution to spinspeak opens up numerous opportunities for better understanding of historical events.

    For example, when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor , some 3,000 American troops were enabled to enter the final steps of their death process. Same great benefit was given to the folks at Auschwitz and the World Trade Center. Diito, Lincoln. Ditto, Kennedy.

    Once you know that merely the “death process” is involved, it’s hard to understand what all the fuss is about.

    >At the UN Rape is a “Recreational Option”

    Wednesday, March 16th, 2005

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    The much-troubled UN says it “shares” the concern of many that its handling of the Food-for-Oil program in Iraq would have embarrassed Enron, but don’t be too hard on the UN because its peacekeepers have been raping women and girls whom they were supposed to be protecting.

    The problem according to a UN top spokesman: “lack of funds.”

    According to the UN, if it had had more money it could have provided “other recreational options” for the peacekeepers and they wouldn’t have had to fall back on rape to keep themselves amused.

    In summary, the real bad guys are the “rich” nations of the world that won’t take proper monetary responsibility. Accordingly, the UN position is that this rape unpleasantness is only “our bit of the larger scandal.”

    If only the UN could have afforded more ping-pong tables and magazines for the boys, everything would have been okey-dokey.

    >A Razzie for Hollywood

    Monday, February 28th, 2005

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    Hollywood once again has clearly demonstrated its ingrained political prejudice in awarding a “Razzie” to President Bush as the year’s “worst actor” for his “performance” in the anti-Republican campaign polemic Fahrenheit 9/11.

    The Golden Raspberries or Razzies are awarded by Hollywood’s Golden Raspberry Award Foundation for the worst acting, screenwriting, songwriting, directing and films offered each year as a counterpart to the Oscars awarded for the so-called best stuff.

    In Bush-hater Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 Bush is cast (with adroit editing) as a moronic, uncaring President who continues to read nursery stories to kiddies at a Florida school after first learning about the 9/11 Islamic attack.

    According to the reviews by delighted liberal leftists, Bush “played the part” brilliantly. But now Hollywood says he was the worst actor of the year. Does that mean that he failed to come off as an uncaring dunce despite all of Spinmeister Moore’s efforts?

    The crazed, illogical Hollywood left, of course, wants to spin it both ways: He’s a dunce and, what’s more, he’s a lousy actor.

    As for the best stuff, Zogby provides some input about the audience and suggests that the country is giving Hollywood a Razzie. The Zogby Poll forecast for the 2005 Oscars presentations on TV:

  • Only 4 in 10 Democrats would watch
  • Only 1 in 8 Republicans would watch
  • As Musician/Wit Oscar Levant once said: Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you’ll find the real tinsel underneath.