Archive for August, 2007

Deluxespin Delivers

Monday, August 20th, 2007

The  book, “Deluxe” by Dana Thomas, makes a major contribution to the study of spinspeak by exploring the highly commercial art of deluxespin.
Thomas catalogues brilliantly the transmogrification of personally handcrafted true luxury products sold at very high prices to mass produced faux luxury products sold at even higher prices.

At one time, the needlecrafts workers of the ateliers of France and Italy produced haute couture designed by Chanel, Valentino. Balenciaga and Yves St.. Laurent. Generations of leathercraft workers produced luggage designed Louis Vuitton. Generations of jewelry makers and goldsmiths turned out limited masterpieces for Cartier, Tiffany, Bulgari. And Fabergé.In recent years, unauthorized, illegal, discredited, knockoffs of these famous brands have been manufactured in the sweatshops of North Africa and China and peddled at bargain prices on the streets of Paris, Milan and New York.

Meantime, Thomas writes, the famous deluxe brands have faced rising labor costs. Handsomely fat margins have been grossly squeezed. Accordingly, they too have taken up outsourcing to China and North Africa and other centers of cheap labor. The also have discovered ways to reduce costs through mass production, corner cutting and cheese paring.

Voila!  Through the magic of deluxespin we have to meet the demand of a rich clientele, particularly a nouveau riche clientele, hungry for the luxury brand products of old, carloads of official, approved, brand-name knockoffs priced to prove that they are more deluxe than ever.

The question for students of deluxespin and the marketing arts: How thin can the deluxe in a deluxe product be sliced before the only thing deluxe that remains like the Cheshire cat’s smile in “Alice in Wonderland” is the brand?

Spinspeak Air Cleanser Award to Hillary Clinton

Thursday, August 9th, 2007

Historians generally agree only President Richard Nixon, Commie fighter extraordinaire, could have opened up US relations with Red China.

Spinspeak experts in the future may be saying that only Sen. Hillary Clinton, darling of feminist activists, could possibly have dragged the hated word “girl” into the righteous haven of political correctness. In her lifelong bid for the presidency, Ms. Clinton has told a rally of cheering union supporters “I’m your girl!” as opposed to “I’m your woman!” or “I’m your candidate person!”Her current arch rival, Sen. Obama, did not immediately try countering her move by shouting “I’m your boy!” but the campaign in still young.

Pet Funeral Biz Gives Major Boost to Spinspeak Phylum Compassiontalk

Tuesday, August 7th, 2007

A Rhode Island dog and cat crematorium called Paws at Rest, doing business under the motto “We share your tears,” offers “home burial,” “marine burial,” and permanent display of “arbor emblems” bearing the name of the beloved one in a “memorial tree.”

The Shop at Paws at Rest offers biodegradable urns for the environmentally concerned and for the more affluent a “solid bronze doghouse.” For cats permanently “at rest,” The Shop offers “etched kitty urns” and an urn that looks like a ball of pink yarn.

Meantime, in England, a pet crematorium called Pets to Rest, offers, apparently for those nostalgic for The Empire, bamboo coffins. They come in three sizes with prices ranging from 47 to 58 pounds including the VAT tax. Pets to Rest is located in northwest England not far from High Hesket in the Eden Valley.

Hospitals Introduce the Medical Obfuscation Procedure

Monday, August 6th, 2007

As anyone unfortunate enough to have to seek hospital care today quickly learns, all services no longer go by the simple names of yesteryear.

Someone operates on your heart, that’s a cardiologic procedure, presumably much more complex and more costly than an old-timey “operation.”.

Likewise, someone sets your broken finger, that’s an orthopedic procedure.

Likewise again, if you can get someone to bring you breakfast before lunchtime, that’s the early morning nutritional procedure.

And now, if they cut off your left leg when it was the right leg that was black from gangrene, that’s called the “wrong site procedure.”