Archive for April, 2011

Leading the Notwar Kinetic Action from behind

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

“Leading from behind” — the Obama Administration’s latest foreign policy for dealing with Libya and presumably other unpleasantness in the Middle East – is an outstanding example of the spinspeak phyla wimpspeak.

It is, of course, something of a reversal of the hoary notion that commanders  normally  inspire their troops by leading from the front,  or at least  making some effort to look as if that is what they are doing. So-called  pure “chateau leadership”  even in 21st Century warfare is still looked down upon by warriors in the field.

However,  this newly announced spinspeak is fully consistent with the previous Obama proclamation  that an  initial  launch of hundreds of Tomahawks at Libya was “not a war” but a “kinetic military action.”  After all, from where else would you lead “not a war” but from the rear.

Apparently, the Obama Administration  has been  studying the writings  of the British military expert, Sir William S. Gilbert.  His sage counsel :

In enterprise of martial kind
When there was any fighting,
He led his regiment from behind –
He found it less exciting.
But when away his regiment ran,
His place was at the fore, O-
That celebrated,
Cultivated,
Underrated nobleman,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro.

When to evade destruction’s hand
To hide they all proceeded,
No soldier in that gallant band
Hid half as well as he did.
He lay concealed throughout the war
And so preserved his gore O!
That unaffected
Undetected
Well-connected warrior
The Duke of Plaza- Toro

Spinning the National Credit Card

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

As the fight over raising  the national debt ceiling and saving the U.S. economy boils and bubbles,  political spinmeisters are working assiduously to keep you befuddled. 

Be wary of the following noxious soporifics and alarms:

shared sacrifice = gooeytalk for economic philosophy that  the famed  comic strip poet Little Noodnick once defined as “You got nuttin,  we got lots, we gonna share in equal pots.”

investment = fogword for endless spending on dubious projects, particularly spending of money  borrowed daily.

give a little more = faux signal for crippling or confiscatory taxation under the tattered banner “soak the rich” who will soon be everyone.

stimulus money = fantasyspeak for billions of dollars  borrowed by the federal government and distributed to maintain bloated government payrolls  and finance non-existent public works. The phrase  is now  generally  discredited and replaced by “investment” (see above).

saved jobs = suckertalk for political featherbedding maintained with  “stimulus money.”

extreme, extremist = diabolictalk for any common sense  proposal to cut spending significantly with the silly idea of really  reducing the national debt. 

balanced approach = cozytalk for favoring higher taxes for “the rich,” more hidden and indirect taxes for the middle class, and a few token cuts mostly in defense.

cat food = diabolictalk  for the alleged menu  that all senior citizens will be eating if  federal spending is cut by “extremists” (see above).

meat axe = cry-wolf talk for the alleged instrument of choice that “extremists” want to use on mounting  federal spending as opposed to a “balanced approach” (see above).  

 millionaires and billionaires = classwarfaretalk for what used to be called “the rich” until it became increasingly clear to anyone with an above room temperature IQ  (ARTIQ)  that “the rich” really includes one way or another everyone not on food stamps.

Spooks’ “Estimate” Language: A Spyspin Dictionary

Saturday, April 16th, 2011

The new National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) may not have made a major contribution to public faith in the reliability of  America’s
spy network but it has made a major contribution to the National Spinspeak Vocabulary (NSV).

The NIE report, recognizing the dumbing down of  voters, helpfully
provides a special NIE dictionary of what it calls “estimate language.”  This special spyspin language is designed to “convey” to the unwashed “the probability” that anything in the report is true; also, “the level of confidence” the spooks have
in their “judgment” of “the probability.”

Here is a  synopsis of the latest spyspin along with translations:

probably, likely, very likely, almost certainlyhopetalk for “there is a greater than even” chance that we know what we are talking about even considering our earlier opinion which was the opposite.

unlikely, remoteCYA-talk for less than a 50-50 chance something will happen but who knows, right?

we cannot dismiss, rule out, discount = hyperCYA-talk for we don’t think the worst will happen but consider yourself warned.

might, may = plastertalk for we really don’t know because someone decapitated our agent while he was on the phone.

high confidence = hopetalk for our information is “high quality” but you never know, do you?

moderate confidence = CYA-talk for our information is
“credibly sourced and plausible” but you have to hedge your bets when dealing with these ragheads.

low confidence =hyperCYA-talk for  it’s OK for you  to
believe this garbage a little bit but we’re supposed to be professionals.